Would you do it ?
Save me , guide me
Let the inner you shine for me
Pick me up , hold me
Something I feel my mind told me
Did I break you?
Trust me I just craved you
But look at me , I was made for you
I let you see every bit of me
Let you undress me emotionally
Because I know I can uplift you gracefully
But can you love me , all the dreams I’ve had and have of lover and home. And I surely appreciate you, what’s for me, us, we.
You know some people like me are cold , forget people, let me focus on me and all that other selfish stuff but sometimes your world can be cold and lonely and you really want a forever thing just someone to be there so if you walk away because you’re feeling weak and lose your mind that someone is still there you know. Sometimes I can be toxic and hold a lot of stuff and pour it onto someone around me or loved one , Lord knows that’s not my intention and I really wanna love and give gratitude. I get so hurt and forget about knowing my own self worth , I’m tired of going back to bad things , to toxic love , negative relationships with people … I deserve better , better than to be called pretty , better than to hold on to something I can’t get back anymore. But here I am now , in a different place , my own box , I got to doing old stuff , but good stuff I wanted to have again , forgetting about my insecurities for once but yet I still struggle to accept so many things that I can’t change. I wanna do better things , do unforgettable stuff , have good people around , because a beautiful smile can fade , a body can fade , but a soul? A soul will continue as they say a gun can’t kill a soul , nothing can as long as you feel comfortable in your own skin. I get so emotional sometimes and get worried about what could happen and start stressing about who will stay around , sometimes I don’t deserve anybody but I do need somebody , someone so powerful , someone to teach me about self acceptance , someone to protect me and take care of my heart , someone to encourage me to keep growing , someone that makes me happy on the inside and glow on the outside , someone that knows their own self worth but at the end of the day … I wanna deserve it.
I’m not so vulnerable but then I get under the impression that I can be great to someone or something. Being vulnerable means I have to trust myself no matter what the consequence is , I have to go for it because I’m aware of the damage but it’s something very alluring that at the end all you could ever get is beautiful scars. Now you see I’m not vulnerable and instead I’m scared , my mind is controlling every move and I’m in a dark place that I could look around and try to find ways to escape , I can’t do it very well because my mind has these thoughts that I’m not too good , not capable of doing anything. I want to be free , I want to trust myself and believe I’m strong enough with whatever comes my path and still be standing there , but I’m weak and become weaker and weaker. I pray to God that he’ll someday let me look at myself in the mirror and be infatuated by who I am. But I’m still learning , trying to live , and trying to become a little more stronger than yesterday or who I am now.
Did you see them fall ? The pieces that fell
All this emotion and still you couldn’t tell
Because as I grow , I’m starting to realize I don’t need you anymore
I forgot about the sound of your voice
The echoes of your laugh
And the beautiful place you have created in this cold heart of mine
Did it mean anything ?
All the devotion I had for you
How pure you made my heart feel
The power you had over me
If it doesn’t , let it be
I don’t need it anymore
These days I don’t deserve you
Deserve that , or what you gave someone I never had
Let them have it , just know I really never asked
Do you see me bloom?
Becoming the woman I never thought I could be
So beautiful , so worthy
Will God let the positivity come to me
I’m giving life to others when I never knew my vibe mattered
But for now , let it be
I just won’t let your negativity get to me